17.0201-0900 Who is Hevea?
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@24.1102-0618.48Atx
Dear Marla,
Some years ago I began to casually personify my rubber fetish as a metaphorical "Hevea". (The underscore is always present in her name.) "Hevea" is a reference to *hevea braziliensis*, the botanical name for the commercial rubber tree.
Of course Hevea is a woman! As a mental exercise I once tried to imagine my fetish as a masculine entity but it just did not feel right. Nah! My fetish is decidedly female.
I wonder if men who personify their rubber fetish think of it as male?
"Is she your lover?" Asked James.
"Lover?" Hmmm. I had never thought of 'her' in that term. "No, 'she' is just a metaphor." I replied, suddenly feeling a subtle pang of lonliness.
"Suppose she wasn't just a metaphor. Could your fetish exist as a tulpa?" Asked James.
"A tulpa? What is that?"
"The best description of a tulpa I've ever heard is that it's like having a 'roommate' in your head who shares the mindspace of your thoughts, emotions and experiences. It's kind of like having a '*special friend*' when you were a kid, although tulpas tend to be much deeper than that. Supposedly, tulpas are also sentient and sapient, with their own thoughts, emotions and personality. They can even be your best friend. The big difference is that, while they share in all of your sensual experiences and have body lusts, they do not have control of your body as you do. You are the host."
[Marla, if you are not already familiar with the idea of tulpas, this would be a good time to Google it. Fascinating...! ]
"Wow! I've never heard of a tulpa, but my fetish certainly fits the description of a 'roommate in my head'. Where do tulpas come from? Are they real?" I asked.
"From what I understand, the jury is still out as to whether tulpas are real or not, although they certainly seem so to the host. It's also questionable whether they are truly sapient. Apparently, they are not true psychoses because they are usually deliberately created by the host. Writers can sometimes accidentally acquire a tulpa when they become too involved in a character in their story."
Lorraine asked, "Does the Mistress talk to you? What does she say?"
"It's hard to explain." I said. "Hevea commandeered my sexuality when I was pre-pubescient, although I have not personified her until just the last few years. She speaks to me through my genitals as horniness and in my dreams as highly creative and usually off-the-charts bizarre, rubberotic fantasies. (Although, as I have aged, my hair has turned white and the fires in my groin have gradually subsided, these have become decidedly less sexual in nature and more 'rubber-sensual'. When I was young my inclinations were mostly hetero-sexual in nature and my hormones raged. But, as I matured, I gradually became much more rubber-sexual and less hetero-sexual. My fetish has turned inward and blossomed. Even with this change, I still consider myself clearly hetero-emotional and poly-intellectual. That is, I can only romantically fall in love with someone of the opposite sex but will trade wits with anyone."
"What does she do in these fantasies? " Asked Lorraine.
"She's quite creative. Sometimes, together we, 'invent' some pretty wild contraptions with strong BDSM and rubber elements. There are times when she craves physical constraint or containment in small spaces. Sometimes she wants some infernal machine to mercilessly fuck our brains out. (Remind me to tell you about her 'fuckbox' idea. James, I suspect you might have an engineer-o-gasm when I ask him to build it for me. He likes making things and has a nice shop in the basement for it) Other times she craves 'predicament` scenarios ranging from 'immobile storage' bondage to being locked into a full, latex suit for 2 *full* days. She has a particular fondness for edging and likes steel chastity belts with dildoes worn for extended periods. Tulpas may be bodyless but this one clearly has body lusts."